Topic: what a shitty life

I'm a 53year old single man with no dependants,other than my 2 cats,on the Invalids Benefit,not just for my physical disabilities,but also for my drug addiction problem,that has spanned the last 40 years of my life.
In 2003 I was diagnosed as having chronic hep c,type 1a and was told that if I went on treatment,(which apparently makes you sick in order to get better) that there was only a 26% chance of recovery,but that I could expect to get maybe 10-15 years of good quality life left.However,that didn't take into account that I had been under the weather for a number of years prior to that time and despite the fact that tests were done,it took them all those years to finally figure out what I've got.
Over the last 40 years I've (apparently) clocked up 25 drug convictions,mostly for class c's and b's,all marijuana related and for my own use.
I've only been to court twice in the last 15 years,both for possession,1st in Invercargill 2003 and 2nd in Taumarunui in 2004.In fact over the last 25 years,I've committed no other crime but smoking pot,with a couple of traffic and parking fines,nor have I ever had a collection agency after me or bad credit,but because I have drug convictions,altho they have to give me a passport,doesn't mean I've ever been able to go anywhere.
I haven't had a drink for 15 years now and finally managed to quit smoking tobacco 9 years ago,but I've been accident prone most of my life and in the last 15 years I've been in 8 motor accidents involving 2 wheels,where I've been injured,3 times where I've broken my right leg below the knee,which has 3 plates holding it together and is now,noticeably shorter by 3-4 cms,but I can't complain,because at least I still have it,eh!
A fella I knew in Wangavegas (Wanganui for all you lay people) had his removed,who like me,gets an Independence Allowance from the ACC,but which only amounts to $60 more than I get each year.Whoop-dee!
I moved back to Invercargill in 2007,after my mother had died leaving me a bit of money.I told my doctor that I realised I'd left a few issues that I hadn't dealt with and it was my intention to move back here to stop running away and face up to things.
Unfortunately altho I've made changes and moved on with my life over my 7 year absence,for Invercargill people,it's like I've only been away since yesterday,they still live in the same grotty house that's falling down round their ears,living the same grotty lifestyle,drinking in the same spot,in the same pub they've always drunk in,where they'll puff out their chest,to tell you how proud they are to be called 'a local'.Some are still in the same 1 job they've had since they left school 20 years ago,who will have to wait another 20 years for the 1 manager to retire,before they can aspire to be any better,and often with their schoolmates who still live just down the road,just as they've always done.
Stuff all of them have ever been over Cook Strait,and there are still some that have never been further north than Gore,in the whole of their lives.It's really no wonder,that Wellingtonians think 'they're all a bit backward down there anyway'.
Yes well,what's new anyway,eh?
Well just a month ago I got busted again for possession of pot,possession of oil,3 cuttings none bigger than 10cms I had in a grow tent and a film container that apparently had 733 seeds in it.Actually I felt a bit disappointed,because the fella who gave them to me reckoned there was as 1000.
The point here,is that altho I've lived all over this country,the only times the drug squad have 'ever' turned up to bust me in my own home,is when I've lived in Invercargill and this just shows you how tough and efficient the Invercargill cops are,by their ability to pick on the 'known' drug addict Invalids Beneficiary.
I use pot,not just to escape reality,but to self medicate for pain and depression,rather than pay my doctor,who'd rather pump me full of pills (poisons) that my already diseased liver has to try to get rid of,when just a couple of tokes of some good ganja,takes all the misery away.

Smoking pot to escape reality is a mugs game, the same as drinking for the same reasons, it's never ending, plus the problem stays there.There other ways of handling and dealing with depression without taking drugs.Life is afterall, only what you make it.

sounds like the Invercargill police have nothing better to do .... it's a shame they've put you on their "hit list" for what I consider an extremely minor offence.

Over the last 40 years I've (apparently) clocked up 25 drug convictions,mostly for class c's and b's,all marijuana related and for my own use.

Your past has caught up with you, As they say a leopard doesn't change its spots.that's why the cops won't 'forget' you.

It appears to me your problems are all of your own making. And haven't you confirmed the Invercargillians opinions of you? Busted again.

If you want to change your life for the better only you can do it - don't come and whinge on forums expecting sympathy. Many of us have had our hard times, and most of us work through them and emerge stronger on the other side. Wake up to yourself.