Topic: Funny

I probably shouldn't have started looking for that telecom charges thing, cos all I found were more jokes, haha, oh well this one is funny:

>A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE!:
>
>The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against
>non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed
>concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome
>(SLOPS). Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US,
>
>almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of
>the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of
>ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and
>moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot
>public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.
>
>A WHO spokesman said, "You'd be much better off going to somewhere like
>Thailand or China, because all you've got to worry about there is SARS,
>and let's face it, you're about as likely to die from that as you are to
>get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns."
>
>The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six
>months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria,
>which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however,
>mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at
>least one English speaking person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days,
>and is therefore considered much more serious.
>
>The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many
>high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid
>spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the
>need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about.
>
>Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about
>domestic issues, and that simply would not do.
>
>Anyone who appears to be exhibiting symptoms of SLOPS should be dragged
>into the street by their genitals and shot.

Hehehe...

I'm never going to be able to hear about SARS again without thinking of the Indian Chief on South Park rubbing the naked Chinese people on the blankets so that the townspeople would get SARS and be weakened...

'Stan...come close. We have SARS. Only 98% of us will live.'

hehe yeh, USA do have a lot of morons there...

God George Bush is an idiot - this is a poem made up of quotes from him.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet
Become more few?

How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

I know that the human being
And the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

hehe yup... idiot :P