[SMILEYROSE]

Participating here is one possibility too, but have a good think

Just one problem with participating here, I'm more than likely to meet someone from New Zealand and I really don't do the long distance relationship thingy either.

[tazjet]

Then believe sweetheart... You have to create a vision for what you want and make it come true.

I'm not saying this a s a come on to you. I just think you need to get yourself out of a rut. Know what I mean?

[SMILEYROSE]

Ok, I'll believe and I'll create a new vision for myself and for what I believe. In fact I'm about to go to bed and close my eyes and I'll try to create a new vision.

Oh I know your not coming on to me, heaven forbid but I know what you mean though, although just because I don't currently have a man in my life it doesn't mean to say that I'm in a rut!

[Cobra]

Tazjet,

That was an interesting post and an interesting coincidence that I too am a Buddhist.

I have never been meek. It is hard to explain my outlook on humility and on bunch of other things.

Also, I noticed that in the Western culture (I am neither trying to offend anyone nor I am trying to engage in cultural arrogance.), people tend to look outward for solution whereas in Eastern culture such as Buddhism, we tend to look inward for solutions. As a result, we tend to beat ourselves up for every little thing not realizing that there are plenty of people out there who are only too eager to do jus that.

[tazjet]

As a result, we tend to beat ourselves up for every little thing

Well that is not the point of looking inwards. The point of Buddhism if may hijack this thread just for a moment (apologies) is to attain wisdom and insight.

If you are beating yourself up because you don't think you're as good as others then you have imperfect insight. (That is applicable to anyone and everyone)

It's a bit like growing older. As we age we lose our sense of false modesty because we gain insight and learn that our opinions are just as valuable or worthy as anyone else's.

Learning that is the most important step to finding the right companion in life because until you can regard yourself as anyone's equal, you will keep making huge concessions to people you admire to try to gain their affection. In the process if they do even notice you they will not feel any respect.

The right approach is to build respect for yourself and then others will begin to notice that and admire you. That's just the funny way it works.

[tazjet]

Smiley Rose that's good saying your life is not in a rut. A positive attitude.

If I may quote CS Lewis somewhat imperfectly ?

"If you have built your castles in the air, then you have not toiled in vain. Now go and build your foundations under them."

When you have a dream, it acts as a focus. A goal on the horizon. And you are right too that you do not need someone else to complete you because it is rather the other way around. You will find love when you are a complete person. We can change the whole world just by changing our own attitudes.

[SMILEYROSE]

>And you are right too that you do not need someone else to complete you because it is rather the other way around. You will find love when you are a complete person. We can change the whole world just by changing our own attitudes.<<<<

Tazjet, I have always found love when I've least been looking for it! I'm not looking for love (although it would be nice to have). Although I haven't managed to find love yet, I've managed to find a few nice friends. I am a complete person and as you've mentioned above, I don't need anyone else to make me feel complete but what I will say is that I'm also particularly fussy when it comes to finding love, the man I fall in love with has to be perfect for me and that's one attitude I'm never going to change!

I don't want to be with someone just for the sake of it, I need to be with someone because they are willing to put 100% effort into a relationship before I could even contemplate falling in love with them!

[tazjet]

You seem to be getting annoyed with me and I was not trying to cause offence so I can't win. Whatever I say gets taken the wrong way. I was trying to be helpful and considerate.

[Cobra]

Tazjet,

Very well said, although slightly different from what I was trying to get at.

[SMILEYROSE]

>>>You seem to be getting annoyed with me and I was not trying to cause offence so I can't win. Whatever I say gets taken the wrong way. I was trying to be helpful and considerate.<<<<

Isn't that just typical of a guy! If a woman speaks her mind then she gets accused of being annoyed. I'm one person who doesn't allow trivial things to annoy her. I don't get annoyed very easilly and just for the record, I much prefer to keep a calm at all times as it takes a lot to rattle my cage!