[ICE]

Dear Cats.......

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this.

Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

My CDs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.

In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kissing me, then go smell the other dog's or cat's butt.

I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Your loving Owner

[Diane]

LOL Sparkle posted this same thing a week or so back.. not sure which topic, but it's so funny!!

[Sparklechick]

Moved this because it should be in jokes & jocularity coz it's funny.

[ICE]

Oops, sorry Sparkle!

Wrong forum, and your post must have been before I joined.

[ICE]

This is xcectly how my two cats are.......

[Diane]

hehe I have 5 like that

[Sparklechick]

My cats are just the same too. Love this joke.

I almost bought a new kitten in the weekend. It was gorgeous but also $300 ... bit too rich for my blood.

[ICE]

What kind of kitten cost $300?

[ciscoplayer]

LoL funny funny

[Diane]

My Manx was $150

[ICE]

I paid £50-00 for our two.....

[Diane]

hehe I would have never paid that much, but I'd lost 2 cats not long before.. and it wasn't breeding season.. so basically, she was the only kitten around, but I'm glad I got her, she gave us 4 more beautiful kittens..