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Old 23-Jul-2005, 03:36 AM
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Default The Best Chain Letter Ever

My brother sent this to me, usually he sends me "real" ones but I decided to read his email anyway and was pleasantly suprised!

Hello, my name is Chook and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Tumbarumba with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Endeavour.

Fuck 'em.


If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being".

I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know.

Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will
consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S. - Send me 15 bucks

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Old 23-Jul-2005, 10:47 PM in reply to Sparklechick's post "The Best Chain Letter Ever"
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Default Re: The Best Chain Letter Ever

Now that is the sort of chain letter I like to get!

"and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters"

How do you handle this?

I keep the chain letters in my mail box until they have been suffocatd and subdued by the weight of the incoming mail then I suddenly log in and delete them quick before they notice.

Paranoia? Me?


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Old 14-May-2007, 01:39 PM in reply to Nas's post "Re: The Best Chain Letter Ever"
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Default Re: The Best Chain Letter Ever

Printed and about to be sent to a brain dead moron called Rosalie Boleyn who lives in a different city and who I've never even heard of before today.

oh and yeah, it's a two year bump but somethings are just sooo very good.

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