Hi
I am living a very stressful time of my life, and I need second opinions.
Relationship, work, family, and more.
I would love to have somebody second opinions on this issues.
I relocated from MA. Florida December of 2004, and I don't know anybody here.
Thanks
RBarros

[*ZenithalRavage*]

lot's of people to talk to here. Tell us more about your situation, and welcome

[Sparklechick]

Happy to give advice if you can elaborate a bit further for us.

You'll find that we're a pretty friendly bunch here

Hi Zenithal
I don't even know how to start.
The begning
This history takes place in Boston state of Massachusetts, were I have landed to begin my new life. I was borne in Brazil Sapucaia do Norte November 12 1964, Daughter of Galeno Garcia and Clomar Moreira Barros.
May 7 1988 I arrived in Boston with my cousin Janet, whit a dream to better my life and conquer my independency, and for some reason I new it wasn’t going to be an easy task.
My cousin and I arrived to the new residency around 10:00AM, were I discovered that I was going to share a 2 bedroom apartment with 7 roommates.
I broth with me one luggage and a one thousand dollars in travelers check to start my life. I was very frightened and worried, to face the new country I didn’ta speak the language well, or neither knew how get around to look for work.
Eigth months later I meat my lover Elenice, who I wansen't so shore I want it to be with
I worked my but off day in nigth in order to by my self a home.
Finally I purchased a home in 1997, all by my self, no help from Elenice, neither finacially or Physical.
In the course of the years, I have manage the house and everything around it.
The year of 2000 thousand, everything went down to hill, the reltanship was a mess.
I worked for a CO. for 7 years, and in the year of 2000 we all discover that the CO. was going to be sold.
In that same year 3 peolpe were hired, The Social Worker, bus driver and a new cook.
Social Worker stated to ask tomany questions.
Every year the CO. would take us out for Christmas, that year for some reason I dint fell like going.
The Social Worker insisted that she would go pick me up at home, and end up going with her.
I wish to forget that day.
This is just the begning, it is a very long history, but I get there if you want to listen.
Thanks
RBarros

[Sparklechick]

Wow sounds really interesting.

You've obviously done well for yourself since you arrived in the US.

What sort of job do you have? Why was the Social Worker asking questions? What sort of questions were they asking?

I'd definitely be interested in hearing more of your story.

If you don't feel comfortable answering my questions then you don't have to.

Hi
Over the years I worked for several places, restaurants anything just use your imagination.
In 1995 I got tired of working for the food industry, I wasn't going any were, plus the language happen to be a beerier.
May 7 1995 I started working for an Assisted living called Stern Group Management, witch later changed their name to Stern Group LLC.
Trust me the money wasn't any better, During day time I worked as an Administrated Assistant, I was jack of trades.
Nigth time I had a contract with them to clean the empty units in 3 buddings.
I work 2 years straigth day and nigth from 10:30AM until 3:00AM by my self in order to by my house.
I was home for the weekends, for some reason I was young and had the strengt to work, and to have time for everything else
While Elenice my lover was having time to do whatever she wanted. She never believed in me, but for some reason I am alive.
Social worker was very curious about my personal life, who I was, and more, so was the bus driver.
I really didn't talk with much the order members in the office, just professional relations, sometimes is best that way.
I was going to a very difficult time of my life at the time, my relationship with Elenice, Health, I will get to the health situation later.
This one day the Social Worker enter the office , and came towards me as if she was going to kiss me,my first gut reaction was to push her away, because there was order people in the conference room, and I din't know what was going on.
I only spend 2 hours in the office, and the rest I had to be in the cafeteria until 6:00AM.
I was under the impression that she started folowing me around the place, she would go up at least twice to the cafeteria, and she wouln'd take her eyes of me.
My coworkers notice her looking at me with her pappy eyes.
I started having problems, and one day I pulled her aside to tell her that my life was private.
She told me that she was open, and that all the other places that she worked she never had any problems.
One day she called me at work to mlet me know that her car was broken, and she ask for a ride the next morning. I gave her ride the next morning not a problem.
We lived 5 minutes apart.
What do think was she following me or not?.

Thanks

Rbarros

[*ZenithalRavage*]

Hello Barros,
Do you still work for this Stern Group even when it was sold? Are you employed at the moment? (sorry I don't fully understand yet).
Sounds to me that this social worker seem's to fancy you but I'm not quite sure if it's only sexual or not. Is she single?
Has your relationship with Elenice ended or are you still together? Do you have kids?
Anyway, I'm proud to hear what you've accomplished with such a difficult start, that takes a lot of hard work and dedication! All I can say at the moment is try to stay focused on the future and on making things better for yourself. It must be hard to keep a positive look on things as stuff goes downhill but you must not let that take you down!
May I ask what you health conditions are?
Please tell us more, we're all ears

Hi
I no longer work for Stern Group since June 2002, and my relationship with Elenice has ended 2 weeks before my surgery, October 2001.
When I both the house in 1997 Elenice and I was still in good terms, the house was both in my name, since Elenice had no money ever.
One of my bigest mistake was to put the house in her name, an agreement was made at the lowers office even before Elenice had paid her share, and I made a will living her everything I had.
Shortly after Elenice started to change her attitude towards me, I have lived treats and I got paid with supermakets bills that she accumulated and rugs areas in order to pay for her share of the down payment, and so on.
The house needed a lot of work, she would never help me, the times that she did, I had to beg.
The Social worker and I talked from time to time, she new what was going on with me.
Let me go back a little bit, the day of the party when she pick me up at he house.
After the party she broth me back home,on the way there, she mentioned that she was cold, and I tryed to hold her hand.
Her response was that she was involved in a relationship, and that she believed in monogamous relationship.
I remenber talking to her before the party, and she told me that she was single.
She gave me every reason to belive that she wanted to get know me better.
She asked me about Elenice, and I told her the trues about Elenice and I.
After the party shortly after she told me that her relationship with her lover had ended.
I started going out more, and what a surprise she was there, when she so me she said that she was glad to see me out, and walked away.
Conversations at the office became a daily routine.
She would come to the office and say, things that led me to belive that she was coming on to me.
Things like I such a busy day I dint'd have any time to see you??
She continued going up to the cafeteria more, coworkers started to harassed me, and so was everybody else in the CO..
My health was getting worse with all the stress, I had a condition that is called Ecalasia, anything I ate made me sick.
I couln'd swolow food, sometimes I would choke with water or saliva.
Elenice was getting worse and worse, no matter what I tryed to do, she wasn't happy.
This one day I was lying down on the sofa with pain, I had gone to Doctor for exams, and I was told that I had to have sugery rigth away.
Raquel was just tired of Elenice's attitude, that is when I sugested some time apart, but I knew what she was going to do.
I got go I will finish it later, like I said is a long history.
Thanks
R

Hi
Anyway, I talked to Elenice about what was going on with our relationship, that I couln'd no longer do everything alone.
From there an on my life became hell, she started following me to work, everywhere I went and her response was that she loved me.
I was no longer sleeping in the same bed with her, I had to lock my self in one the bedrooms in the house.
The phone calls at 3:00AM in the morning started, I counl'd sleep any more.
Elenice started seing someone 2 weeks later after I had sugested that we coun'ld no longer be togheter.
She was given so many options, to be my roommate and she could stay in the house as long as she needed until we figure out what to do about the house.
Elenice wanted me to sell the house and give her her share, I told her that I wasn't going to sell my house.
I offer her $25000 thousand dollars and a timeshare $15000 it came to a total of $4000 thousand dollars. I no money I had to go out and get a loan.
I had everything happening at the same time, separation, harassment at work, the social worker and my surgery.
Elenice almost kill me in order to get what she wanted, more money and everything I had.
She left my house 2 weeks before my surgery with the money.
I lost so much wait during the process of separation, and I was very tired.
M y first gut instinction was to live work, but I counl'd I had to stay because my surgery was going to be in two weeks, and my health insurance would pay for it, I had no way out.
Elenice left the house, and she told me that she loved me, and she I could understand her. Do you believe that?
Social worker started asking me witch places that I was going to out over the weekend,What surprise she was there, but never approached me to talk, all she did was look.
I remenber that I to the parade, and the next day at the office, she asked me if I had gone.
I said yes I was there, and her response was that she dint see me.
I have no idea what she wanted do you?
Raquel

[*ZenithalRavage*]

How is your health at this present day? Does it still trouble you or did the surgery help?
Sorry to hear how things ended with Elenice and especially the manner of. She said she loved you and I know love works in mysterious ways but I find it a bit cruel how she hit you that hard emotionally and financially in your difficult situation.
About this social worker. Do you still see her? If so, I'm still convinced the she likes you, but I'm not exactly sure what she wants. Have you ever tried approaching her when your out and asked what she feels for you? Do you like her? I'd get to the bottom of that as soon as possible, no point in going on in this manner.
After your Stern Group job, did you find a new one? How is your current financial situation?
Also, do you have good friends? I know people who have lost contact with friends because they focus too much on the relationship with their spouse (don't get me wrong, you should always be their for your girl but don't forget friends!).

....

Hi I had to mve very fast out of Stern Group, I was pushed out by the Superviser, because the social worker told them I harresing her.
I went to work as an HIV Counselor/Case Manager for a Hospital in MA., 1 year contract, after that I was unenployed for 4 months, Government cuts.
No job and I had to go true 2 refinances in order to be able to pay my bills, everything broke on me, heating system, and I tryed very hard to find a roomate to share the expenses.
Finally just before I left I found a roomate, she was there for two months before she started giving me trouble.
She wanted to take over my house, she had two cats and they puped al over the house, and one day I steped on it.
I called her attention, and I said that she needed to take care of her cats mess, the house was a mess clotes all over the place, you name it.
She started to act crazy, one day I was in the kitchen cooking she came over and started screaming at me.
The reason was that I had moved my staff from one side of the cabinets to another to give her more room, and wanted to keep all my spices separate from hers.
I asked her somany times to organize her saff in the basement , and in the kitchen.
Next thing I know she was hitting me, I called the cups.
When the cups came over she made up a history that I was harrasing her, I have never seen such ugly beach in my entire life.
I wouldn'd go near her even if she was to pay me a milion dollars, I think she wait 400 pounds, and she was very tall. She was in my house because iI neded the money.
Next thing I gut a court order to live my house, and had already ask her to live.
I was out of my house for 7 days, just because the cups belived her.
I had o drag my self to court the next day clear out the situation, juge din't know that she was lying. He gave her 7 days to live my house.
The only person that helped me was the bus driver, he has been a very good friend, if wasen't for him I would of been dead by now.
There was no other friends, we had common friends, every time I got in touch with them, I hard so much shit about Elenice, an so on.
They all run away, and I knew it would happen that way.
I tryed to talk to the Social worker somany times before I left, but she refuse to listen to me.
After 4 months I gave her onother call to see how she was doing, she told me never to call her again, and the reason was that I had told one the resident she was a Lesbian.
Before my surgery one of the residents approched me to wish me good luck, and she asked me if I had anybody to take me to the Hospital.
My answer to her was no, and than she recomended to give my phone number to someone in the office that liked me very much. I asked who, and she refuse to say the name of the person.
I knew the social worker talked to her.Who do you think it was?
She made a point not to be in the office the last day before my surgery.
I worked onother year before I moved to Florida
I got go

I am very confused I din't understand,

[*ZenithalRavage*]

Man, it seems to me you just didn't meet the right people yet in life. I'm glad the bus driver was a good person. How hard it may seem I think the best thing to try and do is leave all that behind you and forget about Elenice. There are plenty more better fish in the sea but I also know it's difficult to find one! I have been single for quite some time now and it's kinda starting to get on my nerves...
Anyway, you have moved to a new location so that should help you putting those troubles behind you. Stay focused on the future! You're off to yet another new start it seems and I hope this one will work out better for you! A new location also brings new opportunities. I'm not saying it's easy, heck if there's anybody who knows how difficult it can be it is you but please don't let this spoil your spirit! We get one life and we have to make the best out of it. We learn from our mistakes and that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger
Do you have hobbies or do you practice some sport? A good way to meet new friends is to join clubs that have your interests and share your hobbies, or practice sports. Sports are also a good way to unwind and lose some frustration, not to mention it's just healthy and makes you feel fitter. Feeling fitter physically can also have a positive effect on your mental state and make you stronger in achieving your goals.
Do you have a job at the moment? If so what do you do?
How long have you been in Florida now? Are you living alone at the moment?