Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.
Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.
Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol!
