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As a result, we tend to beat ourselves up for every little thing
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Well that is not the point of looking inwards. The point of Buddhism if may hijack this thread just for a moment (apologies) is to attain wisdom and insight.
If you are beating yourself up because you don't think you're as good as others then you have imperfect insight. (That is applicable to anyone and everyone)
It's a bit like growing older. As we age we lose our sense of false modesty because we gain insight and learn that our opinions are just as valuable or worthy as anyone else's.
Learning that is the most important step to finding the right companion in life because until you can regard yourself as anyone's equal, you will keep making huge concessions to people you admire to try to gain their affection. In the process if they do even notice you they will not feel any respect.
The right approach is to build respect for yourself and then others will begin to notice that and admire you. That's just the funny way it works.
