[SMILEYROSE]

I really feel for you Purple. I was absolutely devestated when my grandmother died and I took it extremely badly even though I wasn't living close to her at the time. We used to exchange letters on a regular basis, however I remember feeling totally distraught at the time.

I feel for my daughters right now because they are both currently living with their grand-mother and should anything happen to her I know my daughters will both suffer terribly. When their grand-father died, I remember my eldest bottling trying to bottle things up and one day I accidentally walked into her bedroom and I caught her crying and I'd never seen her look so upset before. I tried to console her but it took her some time for her to get over his death and my daughters were not living with him at the time and saw him very infrequently but were still both very upset, so I'm particularly worried about them now as should anything happen to their grand-mother I know they will take it extremely badly, probably far worse because they are both living with her now.

My only suggestion to you is for you to choose a quiet time when you are in bed at night and for you to say a little prayer then try remembering all of the good times you together. It will help ease the pain and in time things will become better, I promise you.