Enalya,
PLease don't think like that. Don't think I'm patronising you here either, but last year I had about 8 family members and friends die in one week.
Life sucks. Sometimes truly worse than others. Some days are bad, lots are worse, but more are better.
I got used to it, I won't say over it. It's been a while and I still think of that time with disbelief. (We had our car broken into twice, we had major water problems in our flat and things were very very bleak)
But it gets better. Trust me.
I'm 25, I have a great relationship and I have just bought my first home. Don't mock it either, I have come from the lowest of lows and I'm still here. I've come from a town with a very low socio-economic background (Right, Kall?
) and fought my way to betterness.
If I can do it, so can you. Just take each day as it comes. Breathe. Enjoy being you. Live a little!!!
Just never ever ever again think it's your fault, or blame yourself.