THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ACCORDING TO THE CAT 
Thou shalt not feed me the same food twice.
Thou shalt not tell me what to do... EVER!
Thou shalt not sit in my chair without my permission.
Thou shalt not buy furniture that I cannot wreck.
Thou shalt not feed the birds until I have positioned myself under a bush.
Thou shalt not take me to the vet in a cardboard box.
Thou shalt not buy a dog with teeth or legs.
Thou shalt not put a lid on the fishbowl.
Thou shalt not rev up the car while I am under it.
Thou shalt obey all of the above rules or I shall piddle in places that you will never find.