lol 
You're the "I'm Not Drunk" drunk.
- "No, I wasn't drunk last night. You've never seen me drunk."
- "You stared at the coving for half an hour."
- "So? It takes more than that to get me drunk."
- "You knocked over a bowl of nachos, trampled them into the carpet, then shouted at a complete stranger that it didn't matter because Mexicans were dirty anyway."
- pause -
- "It was an accident. I was joking."
- "You ate them."
You can inform the world that you're not drunk, honest, with the following declaration of sobriety:
